Skiing Arrangements With Spouses/Significant Others

Tony Crocker

Tony Crocker

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Given Harvey's role running NYSkiBlog, I see the logic of this project in the first year of retirement. I'll be interested in whether he expands his horizons in future seasons. Consider hitting the road for three months at mostly Indy Pass areas in western North America for example. This is what Lonnie did from 2021-2023.
 
Tony Crocker said:
Given Harvey's role running NYSkiBlog, I see the logic of this project in the first year of retirement. I'll be interested in whether he expands his horizons in future seasons. Consider hitting the road for three months at mostly Indy Pass areas in western North America for example. This is what Lonnie did from 2021-2023.
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I don't want to leave my wife for three months. Since retiring, I am doing everything I can to up my game, engaging with her, listening to her.

Turns out we really like each other. Sometimes that gets lost when you have a child.

Moving to the Adk means I can ski much more, and be with Zelda almost every day.
 
I must have forgotten there is a non-skiing spouse in the picture. Like Jimk, the best plan in that scenario is to be based where most of your skiing will be easy daytrip. As I've mentioned before Liz is even more restless and wanting to prioritize new experiences than I am. Her frequent motto: "Let's do something a different way."
 
Tony has come to terms with Patrick's project, which trades northern-hemisphere peak season quality and variety for a monthly streak. Maybe it's time for him to do the same with Harvey, who has made abundantly clear what he likes.
 
I believe the non-skiing spouse factor was what I was missing here. Jimk has the ideal ski season arrangement for that scenario, and given Harvey's ski preferences he will not be too far off that. Lonnie's situation, off skiing by himself for 3 months at a time, is probably unusual. But his wife wasn't just sitting around at home. She had some non-skiing travel and also visited family in Florida, and ski season is the most pleasant time of year to do that.
 
jamesdeluxe said:
however, I'm reasonably certain that his non-skiing spouse does not influence where he prefers to ski.
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Non-skiing spouses significantly put a drag on how many ski days people get and how many $$$ they spend on skiing. Those have strong effects upon where people can ski. Even Lonnie may have had his 3-month road trips but he was squeezing every penny of expense on them. When Liz' knee flared up in 2023, he could easily have taken her seat at Island Lake but he did not.
 
jamesdeluxe said:
Harvey can speak for himself; however, I'm reasonably certain that his non-skiing spouse does not influence where he prefers to ski.
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Yes and no. I ski NY/VT because I want to.

When I lived in NJ I skied 30-35 days a year. That had me away from my wife a lot.

Now I hope to ski 100, and spend no more than 5 nights away from home.

I am no retirement expert, but if you don't use that time to strengthen your relationship with your wife, wtf is the point. She's still working and I am her executive assistant, trying to remove the logistics of life from her plate.

As for her "dragging" on my ski days, she uprooted her life for me to live in the mountains, and I am extremely grateful. She is not a drag.
 
Tony Crocker said:
Non-skiing spouses significantly put a drag on how many ski days people get and how many $$$ they spend on skiing. Those have strong effects upon where people can ski.
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Really depends on the relationship. My husband of almost 35 years is a non-skier for assorted reasons. I retired early to be a more relaxed older parent and to have time to spend with my parents, who were over 75 by then. My father was a professor who would travel and work internationally every few years. He would be gone for 3+ months. They were married for over 60 years.

I'm averaging over 50 days a season these days, with most at big mountains out west based on doing multiple trips from Dec-Apr. Most of the trips I travel and ski with retired friends. I know plenty of women over 50 who live in the east, have husbands who don't ski, and ski both locally and on trips that involve flying west or to Europe. Also ski with younger women who work full-time and are married to partners who don't ski.
 
Tony Crocker said:
That is the scenario where a lengthy recreational trip by yourself can really get you in trouble. From 1997 - 2004, mine were only a week at a time and my ex bitched about all of them.
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LOL, my wife is paying for me to go skiing with my daughter to Banff/Lake Louise and Sunshine Village next February! She LITERALLY can't wait to get me out of the house. She's already looking forward to it and the trip is not for another four months. Heck, if I want to be mercenary, I'm sure I could get some extra cash out of her for spending money during the trip.
 
Tony Crocker said:
Is she still working? That's key to the resentment. "You're having fun while I'm slaving away!"
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It's very early on obviously but so far no resentment on that front. And obviously I'm not traveling.

Now the (non) performance of our GC, that is causing a lot of resentment.
 
My "retired from skiing" wife is a saint to accompany me to Utah for four-five months every winter for the last seven years. During that time she's performed a great deal of general contractor type duties to facilitate the economical remodeling of our son's house (including an in-law suite, two new bathrooms, two new kitchens, etc.). Meanwhile, I've been out goofing around on the slopes. However, there are many days when I'll ski in the morning and do stuff with her in the afternoon and evening. This is part of the beauty of being 20 mins from both Alta/Bird and Sol/Bright. My son picked a good spot near the base of Big Cottonwood Canyon to buy a house back in 2017. My wife also enjoys cooking. My son and I benefit from this too, and he has a much better equipped primary kitchen than the typical bachelor :-)
Zion National Park, May 2021:
ZION NATIONAL PARK KATHY AND JIM.jpg


Inspired by this thread, I grabbed a few other fun photos from recent years, out west and traveling across the country:
At the top of the St. Louis Arch.
inside st. louis arch kathy and jim.jpg


Schmidt's Sausage Haus, Columbus, OH.
schmidt's sausage haus columbus oh.jpg


South Rim of the Grand Canyon in 2019.
23may19 snowy grand canyon south rim.jpg


North Rim of the Grand Canyon in 2023.
grand canyon north rim kathy and jim.jpg

Great Salt Lake
great salt lake kathy and jim.jpg


Antelope Island, UT.

antelope island jim and kathy.jpg


Snowshoeing at Banff-Sunshine
banff sunshine snowshoeing kathy and jim.JPG


Arches National Park, UT.
kathy arches national park utah.jpg


Yellowstone in winter.
yellowstone in winter kathy.jpg


Yellowstone, May 2025, with our son.
kathy and vince yellowstone may 2025.png


Kolob Canyon, UT.
kolob kathy 13 feb 2023 (2) - Copy.jpg




Dead Horse Point, UT.
dead horse point again.jpg


Colorado National Monument.
kathy colorado monument 28 may 2021.jpg


Schweitzer Mtn, ID, March 2025
kathy schweitzer view mar 2025.jpg


Summit of Snowbird, UT, May 2025.

kathy snowbird.jpg


Goblin Valley State Park, UT.
kathy and jim cave goblin valley 2 may 21.jpg
 
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Tony Crocker said:
That is the scenario where a lengthy recreational trip by yourself can really get you in trouble.
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So I guess what I actually want to do — ski NY, VT and Bohemia — works out pretty well.

Brilliant splitting. So many ideas worth discussing are lost, because they don't get broken out.
 
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